Spring Break
Why I hate Seattle
John Paul Green, Columnist, jpgreen@smu.edu
Issue date: 4/2/09 Section: Opinion
I hate Seattle. Seattle may be the worst town on the planet. Worse than Houston.
There is nothing in Seattle worth visiting. I have two friends from Washington, but even if I went to see them I'd ask to meet them in Oregon or something instead of having to go to that wretched city.
This past weekend, I got to visit Seattle. I went to a certain theater, whose name I will not mention, but whose internship I was applying for. I didn't get it.
Now hold on. You're probably thinking, "Hey, he hates Seattle because of that theater company that rejected him!"
That's partly true, but it's not the full story.
It rains all the time in Seattle. Why would I want to be somewhere that has a constant rainstorm?
Sunshine may be one of the greatest things on the planet. Why does Seattle lack this? Sunshine helps things grow.
Yes, rain is nice and also helps things grow, but unless you're living in an everlasting scene from "The Notebook," it doesn't count for anything.
There's also grunge music. If you read my articles, you know that I've mentioned a little band called Nirvana a few times. I love Nirvana. They were lightyears ahead of their time.
Let me just say this about grunge music. Flannel shirts: They don't work.
I'm not the most fashion-heavy person on campus. Most of my days are spent wearing jeans and one of my many animal T-shirts. I do, however, know that flannel shirts look awful and should only be worn if you are in the cast of "Home Improvement."
The first word that comes to mind when I think of Seattle is "nerdy." Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, was born up there. And who better to be considered the King of Nerds than Mr. Bill Gates himself? This guy invented technology.
I, for one, use a Mac computer and therefore do not gain anything from Mr. Gates.
Actually, the only reason I hate Seattle is because I once got in a fender-bender and the guy was a jerk, and he was from Seattle. This was in 10th grade.
To this day, I hate Seattle and vow every morning to figure out how to get Congress to vote Seattle out of the country.
I'm sorry for ranting.
John Paul Green is a freshman theater major. He can be reached for comment at jpgreen@smu.edu.
There is nothing in Seattle worth visiting. I have two friends from Washington, but even if I went to see them I'd ask to meet them in Oregon or something instead of having to go to that wretched city.
This past weekend, I got to visit Seattle. I went to a certain theater, whose name I will not mention, but whose internship I was applying for. I didn't get it.
Now hold on. You're probably thinking, "Hey, he hates Seattle because of that theater company that rejected him!"
That's partly true, but it's not the full story.
It rains all the time in Seattle. Why would I want to be somewhere that has a constant rainstorm?
Sunshine may be one of the greatest things on the planet. Why does Seattle lack this? Sunshine helps things grow.
Yes, rain is nice and also helps things grow, but unless you're living in an everlasting scene from "The Notebook," it doesn't count for anything.
There's also grunge music. If you read my articles, you know that I've mentioned a little band called Nirvana a few times. I love Nirvana. They were lightyears ahead of their time.
Let me just say this about grunge music. Flannel shirts: They don't work.
I'm not the most fashion-heavy person on campus. Most of my days are spent wearing jeans and one of my many animal T-shirts. I do, however, know that flannel shirts look awful and should only be worn if you are in the cast of "Home Improvement."
The first word that comes to mind when I think of Seattle is "nerdy." Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, was born up there. And who better to be considered the King of Nerds than Mr. Bill Gates himself? This guy invented technology.
I, for one, use a Mac computer and therefore do not gain anything from Mr. Gates.
Actually, the only reason I hate Seattle is because I once got in a fender-bender and the guy was a jerk, and he was from Seattle. This was in 10th grade.
To this day, I hate Seattle and vow every morning to figure out how to get Congress to vote Seattle out of the country.
I'm sorry for ranting.
John Paul Green is a freshman theater major. He can be reached for comment at jpgreen@smu.edu.
Viewing Comments 1 - 7 of 8
Seattle
posted 4/02/09 @ 1:46 PM CST
Seattle hates you too. We rammed your car and rejected you for an internship. Take the hint and don't come back.
Seattleite
posted 4/02/09 @ 1:56 PM CST
Don't worry buddy, the feeling is mutual. Love, Seattle.
Seattlite
posted 4/02/09 @ 7:32 PM CST
Thanks for doing your bit to keep people from moving to Seattle.
I live in Seattle
posted 8/10/09 @ 1:09 AM CST
Brace yourself for the "Don't kid yourself, Seattle hates you too" comments. Seattle is a turd. Out out of all the cities in the US, Seattle by far is the top ranking city that has the sh**tist, sourest, most insecure attitude out of all of them. (Continued…)
Gerald Murakami
posted 9/07/09 @ 9:47 AM CST
I totally agree with Mr.Green. Seattle sucks. It rains too much, the traffic sucks even with the new light rail, most of the people are rude and it's a small city with big city problems. (Continued…)
alice
posted 11/03/09 @ 2:49 AM CST
it's beautiful here .
ILoveSeattle
posted 11/18/09 @ 4:19 PM CST
I've lived in Seattle my whole life and fortunately I've had the opportunity to travel around the world. Seattle is the most naturally beautiful city in the world. (Continued…)
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