Spring Break
FASHION FLASH
Jordan Traxler, Staff Writer, jtraxler@smu.edu
Issue date: 4/25/07 Section: Entertainment
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All around me girls are getting tan and boys are buffing up, which can only mean one thing: swimsuit season is almost here. Let me take this opportunity to do the entire SMU community a favor and explain what not to wear for all body types, because I am sick of girls trying to pass off smiley-face stickers as swimsuits.
We have all seen those summer make-over shows that teach you what to wear, but they all have the five kinds of body types in common:
1. "I look like a little boy" (skinny-petite): Halter-tops are your friend, especially plunging necklines. The low necklines make boobs appear out of nowhere. Girly colors, ties and prints make you look less like a football player.
2."I'm wearing Spanx under my muumuu" (full-figured): Look for swimsuits with high spandex content; they are great for reducing the appearance of cellulite. One-pieces are not your only option; cute tankinis aren't clingy and come in fun cuts and prints. Dark colors are your best friend, and you can always wear bright accessories. Lastly, prints can either work for or against you. The smaller the print the better-you don't want to look like a couch.
3. "I'm not pear shaped, but my butt is" (pear shaped): Bikinis are fun, but you must learn to mix and match. Your top should be brighter than your bottom, and if the top is more "eye-catching" then people are less likely to be "lookin' at [your] bump." Another key to solving the posterior problem is to make sure that your bottom is squarely on your hips and fits properly; if it does not cover down to the crease then it does not fit.
4. "AA is not just a battery" (flat chested): Learn to love bright colors because objects may be smaller than they appear. As with the boy-shaped body, halters help create the illusion of breasts where there may be none. If all else fails, there are plenty of swimsuits that have ample amounts of padding.
5."I watch too much Nip/Tuck" (large bust): You need an underwire; if they hang past your tummy you might as well wear a one-piece. Lycra helps tighten and hold things up where they belong. String bikinis won't cut it for you, so stop trying. Just make sure to have the correct amount of coverage, and make an effort to wear darker colors on the bust.
We have all seen those summer make-over shows that teach you what to wear, but they all have the five kinds of body types in common:
1. "I look like a little boy" (skinny-petite): Halter-tops are your friend, especially plunging necklines. The low necklines make boobs appear out of nowhere. Girly colors, ties and prints make you look less like a football player.
2."I'm wearing Spanx under my muumuu" (full-figured): Look for swimsuits with high spandex content; they are great for reducing the appearance of cellulite. One-pieces are not your only option; cute tankinis aren't clingy and come in fun cuts and prints. Dark colors are your best friend, and you can always wear bright accessories. Lastly, prints can either work for or against you. The smaller the print the better-you don't want to look like a couch.
3. "I'm not pear shaped, but my butt is" (pear shaped): Bikinis are fun, but you must learn to mix and match. Your top should be brighter than your bottom, and if the top is more "eye-catching" then people are less likely to be "lookin' at [your] bump." Another key to solving the posterior problem is to make sure that your bottom is squarely on your hips and fits properly; if it does not cover down to the crease then it does not fit.
4. "AA is not just a battery" (flat chested): Learn to love bright colors because objects may be smaller than they appear. As with the boy-shaped body, halters help create the illusion of breasts where there may be none. If all else fails, there are plenty of swimsuits that have ample amounts of padding.
5."I watch too much Nip/Tuck" (large bust): You need an underwire; if they hang past your tummy you might as well wear a one-piece. Lycra helps tighten and hold things up where they belong. String bikinis won't cut it for you, so stop trying. Just make sure to have the correct amount of coverage, and make an effort to wear darker colors on the bust.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
anonymous
posted 4/27/07 @ 12:11 AM CST
Since when does skinny/petite equal football player?
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