Spring Break
FASHION FLASH
Jordan Traxler, Staff Writer, jtraxler@smu.edu
Issue date: 4/25/07 Section: Entertainment
As for the boys, all body types have the same problems, so I will only address them once. Girls-this is the part of my column you need to cut out for your boyfriends. Do not wear Speedos, hot pants, or shorts that come half way down your shins: you look stupid. No one wants to see your nasty crack, so stop showing it to us.
And for goodness' sake, if you look like Robin Williams, get a wax! We don't think you're rugged, just that you might be some sort of monkey. Clingy swimsuits tell everyone just how much of a man you are not. You should wear swim trunks that fit on (not under) your hips and cover between half your thigh to your knees, any longer or shorter will just make you look like you are wearing someone else's bathing suit. Wear ample amounts of sunscreen, because men are more likely to sunburn than women, and no one finds tomatoes attractive.
Let me leave you with some final words: Learn what body type you are and embrace it. The sooner you come to terms with yourself, the sooner someone else will want to come to terms with you. And I don't care who you are or what kind of "bangin'" body you have, don't wear an itsy-bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot (string) bikini, no matter what some yogurt commercial says. I mean really, are you going to trust something that owes its consistancy to bacteria-ridden milk?
So the next time a surfer-dude beach bum comes up to you and tells you that you look hot in your swim suit, you can proudly say, "I know, right?" before laughing in his face.
And for goodness' sake, if you look like Robin Williams, get a wax! We don't think you're rugged, just that you might be some sort of monkey. Clingy swimsuits tell everyone just how much of a man you are not. You should wear swim trunks that fit on (not under) your hips and cover between half your thigh to your knees, any longer or shorter will just make you look like you are wearing someone else's bathing suit. Wear ample amounts of sunscreen, because men are more likely to sunburn than women, and no one finds tomatoes attractive.
Let me leave you with some final words: Learn what body type you are and embrace it. The sooner you come to terms with yourself, the sooner someone else will want to come to terms with you. And I don't care who you are or what kind of "bangin'" body you have, don't wear an itsy-bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot (string) bikini, no matter what some yogurt commercial says. I mean really, are you going to trust something that owes its consistancy to bacteria-ridden milk?
So the next time a surfer-dude beach bum comes up to you and tells you that you look hot in your swim suit, you can proudly say, "I know, right?" before laughing in his face.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
anonymous
posted 4/27/07 @ 1:11 AM EST
Since when does skinny/petite equal football player?
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