Spring Break
The truth as I see it
Executive Order
Austin Rucker
Issue date: 1/19/07 Section: The Mix
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Out of respect, we need to include the kind of material our shepherd would use himself. Now I'm not suggesting we make it a children's library, but at the same time you can't go building libraries without making it a kind of homage to the namesake. In that vein, I have taken it upon myself to suggest a few things that will characterize this house of knowledge as the stomping grounds of the historical juggernaut it is named after.
For one, let's make some cuts to the history section. Who cares? Most of that crap went down in the past and therefore won't happen again. Last thing we need is some jerk with a degree explaining what went down six hundred years ago. I mean, come on, we remember the important stuff, and everything else, right? Well, the people who did that stuff are long dead, so let's just cut it out. We need to focus on the future and what's important.
Let's get a section on warfare and nation building. Get some John Keegan and Peter Paret and maybe 20,000 copies of "The Forgotten Soldier" so everyone can understand the kind of weight our president sleeps under every night.
Okay, let's also include a few copies of the Declaration of Independence. That thing made a pretty big difference on our country. In fact, it's the most important document in our nations history - far better than that silly little Constitution, which was written by a bunch of idiots long before we had the Internet or MySpace. Besides, look at all the arguments that have started in our government over that thing. We are a nation of peace, and all the Constitution does is start fights between Democrats and people who care about your safety. Let's forge ahead with unity.
Have some faith. All you hear nowadays are complaints about science versus fact and religion versus baby-killing stem-cell research. Let's just keep the parts we like. I like the bible. It's full of helpful proverbs and nobody can deny that the Ten Commandments are a pretty good indicator of how to find love and happiness. All that science ever gave us was the atomic bomb and LSD and hate.
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